Why do fruitcakes make ideal gifts?
Because the Postal Service has been unable to find a way to damage them.
In addition to being a popular holiday surprise, fruitcake has a dozen "value added" uses that make it one of the most versatile desserts ever concocted.
1. Doorstop
2. Paper Weight
3. Boat Anchor
4. Bricks for Contrsuction
5. Pencil or Pen Holder
6. Cat Scratching Post
7. Poker Chips (when sliced)
8. Firewood
9. Stadium Seat
10. Step Ladder
11. Free Weight (for workouts)
12. Bookend
13. Sand Bag Filler
14. Speed Bump
BTW, why is history like a fruitcake?
Because it is full of dates!